I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
