dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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