I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
