My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
