Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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