this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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