She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
How external is "for external use only"?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
