She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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