i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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