Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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