It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
