I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Boobs speak an international language.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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