All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It was confusing and full of hummus
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
