I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
