nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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