I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
