Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
