so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize