So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
