Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
