we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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