So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
