It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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