It's just like the Real World with babies
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
