Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
