what if every blade of grass was a penis?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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