I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We are two peas in an std pod
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize