I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
