why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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