you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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