my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My dick has a subreddit
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
