I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
