i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
