I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You made out with two different species that night
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
