hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
