Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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