Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
