The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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