atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The power of my boobs compel you
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize