But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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