Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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