Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
