New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Congratulations! We have a period
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