Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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