That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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