It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
