Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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