At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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