He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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