Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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