In America we eat man semen.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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