so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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