You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
