I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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