Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
