he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
