his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
