Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
