thus making me awesome and them whores
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
