wat bout pragnant strippers??
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
