using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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