I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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