He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
