Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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